And had to live in a domestic violence shelter for almost a year — Two days after fleeing my angry, alcoholic husband I landed in a Domestic Violence shelter with my children. We hid there for two months until he found us on April Fool’s Day and used the court system to take them from me. The judge didn’t give me anything and…

This is how my story begins — I was running from my past with a truck full of kids, the rain poured down obstructing my view of the road in front of me. Desperately trying to find my way while the calm voice of google maps routed me farther and farther from my wrong turn. I began…

Was he really abusive? — “Abusers are statistically most likely to kill their target after being served with a temporary order of protection.” ~ Julia Freeman The Friday before I arrived at the shelter I had called the domestic violence hotline to talk with someone to help me understand how my life had been turned…

The narcissist’s mask begins to slip — I had been at the shelter for almost a week when it was time to face my husband in court for the order of protection hearing. I had written out a timeline, knew what I wanted to present, and had a list of questions to ask. …

Learning to live in a shelter — When I returned to the shelter I settled into a daily routine of wake, make breakfast, homeschool with the kids, lunch, rest, talk to the other women, work on my to-do list and just survive sharing one room with all my kids. We were fortunate that we didn’t have to…

My peace was shattered — A family member sent me a screenshot of a post my husband had made on Facebook. He stated that I had kidnapped our children and asked anyone who saw me or the vehicle I was driving to let him know. …

Lockdown at the shelter — My husband was ordered to stay back three times by the shelter’s Legal Advocate. She was armed but had not pulled her gun yet. I kept peeking around her vehicle as he yelled at me to “Stop this!”. Finally, a police officer joined us in the parking lot and called…

Let the games begin — The day after my abuser found us and stole my peace I received bad news from the domestic violence coalition that was to represent me for the divorce. They had dropped me because I had filed another order of protection. My abuser’s attorney(co-abuser?) …

Learning I could live through more than I ever imagined — The cost of my freedom was losing everything I had ever known. The next week was spent calling attorneys to find someone who would represent me in less than a week at the custody hearing. I had already seen the co-abuser in action in court twice and knew she was…

Court-ordered abuse — The day after the abuser received temporary full custody of our children I made the hour drive to see them. The judge had ordered me to get the abuser up to speed on homeschooling our children. I would have to sit in what had been our home and tell him…

Did he hit his rock bottom? — One morning about two weeks after the abuser took our children home I was preparing to leave for my daily visit when the shelter director asked me to come to the office. The legal advocate was on the phone with someone who worked at the abuser’s company. She began to…

The abuser tries to get his life back on track — At this point, the crazy train really began to take off. He got more and more desperate to make his life work again and when it didn’t he became angry. He lashed out at me through texts and emails. He played chicken with me twice while we each had children…

My healing begins — I will write one more chapter on what I went through and then my story will focus on the hope and future I began to build for myself. We can only go through this nastiness for so long before we need a break. Almost every week when I was texting…

Taking care of myself — Now begins my single lady phase. Well, as close as a woman living in a shelter without her children can be a single lady. …

Shelter life and roommates — Do you know how hard it is to find a job when you have not been employed outside the home for over 20 years? The last week of school I had an interview that went surprisingly well. I say surprisingly well because I hadn’t even finished my training and they…

Like father like son — The abuser was still spinning out of control after his job loss. He was at home with the kids looking for work. In a strange twist of fate, I took him food from the food pantry at the shelter to help out while he was unemployed. He was still using…

If you think he’s cheating he probably is — Big sign number one: You are worried he is cheating. Women are equipped with intuition. We know he’s messing around before we see any symptoms. Believe in yourself. I know as I look at the past that my abuser was never faithful to me. At the very least he was…

Learning to breathe again — During the last year of my marriage while the abuser was drawing closer and closer to destruction I became desperate enough to reach out for help. I began counseling with a counselor online. We began by diagnosing my relationship with God and I realized I had given up on Him…

The Juicy details — Let’s go back to where we left off before I began telling you the back story of my failed marriage. I was still living in the shelter and trying to get my life started. Also, if you are here just to find out why the abuser was fired, scroll down…

Murphy’s law strikes a blow — I have noticed a pattern in my life. I will make some good forward progress and then take a huge hit which wipes out most of what I’ve done. Somehow I still move forward. I feel like those of us who go through this are given an extra portion of…