Theory: Narcissists Want Their Children to be Just Like Them
And why not? They are the best thing since sliced bread
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I am an empath. I feel guilty when I do or say something that hurts someone else in any way. I watch as the abusive man I was married to puts our children in danger seemingly without a twinge of guilt. I can’t understand why he would continue to hurt them. Then it dawns on me…
He is a narcissist. Narcissists think they are the best thing that has ever walked the earth. Why wouldn’t he want to make our children in his glorious image? To turn them into narcissists they have to experience abuse and turn off their feelings just as he did as a child. Or something like that.
I still don’t understand how people become narcissists. Whether or not it is nurture vs. nature that sets this psychological condition into motion. If he believes narcs are made through their environment then he will do his best to recreate that environment for them. I see him putting our children at risk of all kinds of abuse and that is the only answer I can come up with. That he wants his children to be narcs.
He has rejected some of our children. Guess what their personalities are like? They are loving, caring, truth-tellers. They are the brave ones who aren’t afraid to see through the chaos into the truth. They are the children I think will make it through this living hell and come out as successful and kind adults.
I was rejected by my mother who is a narcissist. Even though I was a quiet, compliant child she must have noticed the way I looked at her when I became aware of what she was. She allowed her husband to sexually abuse me when I was young but that didn’t break me. I watched her and her antics and knew something was wrong with her. I decided I would do everything in my power to become the opposite of what she was.
So far, the abuser has succeeded in producing one narcissistic, abusive person from our children. This person has threatened to do physical harm to me and has sent me threatening photos via text. He and his father are very similar in personality and behavior. I had such hope for him as a child and I desperately hope I am wrong about who he has become. As a mother, I hold onto the beautiful, caring child he was. The worst part is that he saw through some of the things his father did and despised him for it. I pray he is just an addict and will be okay if he ever becomes sober.
I have to continue to educate myself on mental health and how to parent children who have suffered from trauma. It is my responsibility to do what I can to bring up loving humans who will go out in the world and do right instead of evil. I can’t give up on fighting for their futures. Love gives you the strength to stand up again and fight after every defeat.
Have you seen my theory at work in your children? How do you overcome the narcissist’s attempt to destroy his/her children?
