The Narcissist’s Family System: The Scapegoat

A deeper look into why the narcissist needs a scapegoat

Photo by BAILEY MAHON on Unsplash

Have you ever wondered why the narcissist assigns one of his children to be a scapegoat? Recently, I came to a new awareness of what this child’s role is for the narcissist.

What is a scapegoat?

In the days that Isreal was traveling to the promised land, they would use a goat to take on the sins of the people which would then be set free outside of the camp.

What does this have to do with the narcissist? He uses one of his children to take on the sins of his childhood in an attempt to be set free from his past.

The Role of the Scapegoat

The scapegoat is the child that takes the blame when something goes wrong, is bullied the most by the narcissist, and is treated as the least important family member.

The other children play into this drama, knowing that if the scapegoat continues to take on the disdain of the narcissist they will be spared the worst of it. Don’t blame the children. I don’t think they are fully aware of the dynamic and are living in a survival of the fittest dynamic.

The Strenght of the Scapegoat

I believe the scapegoat is one of the strongest members of the family and that is why the narcissist is so hard on them. Narcissists are afraid of the strength in others and have to break down anyone they think might stand up to them.

The scapegoat is the child who grows up to leave the dysfunctional family of origin behind and strike out on their own. They are willing to face the wrath of the narcissist and call them out on their bad behavior. This is the child who is watching and learning how not to be from the narcissist.

Why the Narcissist Needs the Scapegoated Child

I don’t think this child has this role only to take the blame for the dysfunction in the family…

Julia Freeman, Trauma Recovery Coach in training

I believe survivors of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence deserve to live in freedom and peace.