Survive and Thrive By Building Community
Part of healing is connecting with others
When I feel lonely I remember that I need to keep growing my connection to my local community. We need to be part of a community to keep healing and learn not only to live free but to thrive.
After being isolated it takes a lot of work to interact with others. You have to relearn social skills and overcome the fear of being hurt again. You are more self-conscious after all the insults the abuser used to undermine your confidence.
When we are isolated we keep everyone away from us. Now it’s time to let safe, loving people back into our lives. We need others to help us live a healthy life. We need to have a trusted group of people to share our lives and experiences with. We can seek their advice and help and give ours when it is requested.
Humans were meant to live closely with other humans for safety, relationship, and prosperity.
If we have children it is especially important to live as part of a community. They need to see that we will be okay without them when they grow up. They don’t need to worry that they will have to take care of us.
Build Your Local Community
Here are some ways you can become part of your local community to help you heal and build a strong foundation for your new life:
If you are of faith begin attending a local church. I struggled with this at first because I chose a large church to attend which made it difficult to get to know anyone. I started going to a smaller church where a friend worshiped and found I already knew a few people there. After a few months, I joined a Bible study group which has helped me connect even more. My church also has a single mom group which makes it easier to build connections. Sometimes you have to try more than one place of worship to find the right fit for you.
Let your children lead you to new friends by joining playgroups or helping out at their schools. I was surprised to meet other older single moms like me when I took my child to birthday parties or attended school functions. Lots of other single parents are seeking community for themselves and their children.