Parenting Little Ones Who Have Survived Trauma

How to Help Your Children


Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

My latest podcast helps moms parent their children who have survived trauma. I share my experience and what I find useful to help my little ones when they are in melt-down. I also share a list of tools to help children live better and avoid meltdowns. I have seen a strong correlation between my healing and how well my children deal with stress.

Here’s a list of suggestions for helping these special little ones live well:

1. Keep your emotions out of their melt-downs.
2. Become a calm person so they can absorb your energy.
3. Give them access to quiet activities such as crafts, gardening, nature walks, stretching, and relaxing music.
4. Provide exercise through playgrounds, sports, dancing, and active play.
5. Be silly with them so they can relate to the child you still have inside. If you’ve lost that child find him/her with your children.
6. Be present with your children. Play games, read aloud, and watch a movie or show with them.
7. Take them to see a counselor if possible.
8. Find a way to help them express their feelings- toys, charts, they can draw how they feel.
9. Keep working on yourself.
10. Give them something to be responsible for such as a pet(can be a fish or something super easy to care for) or plant or garden space.

After your child has had a melt-down help them reconnect with you and the rest of the family by:

Wait for them to invite you back in. Don’t embarrass them when they come back to you. Accept them and show them that you still love them.

Talk about what happened gently when they are open to hearing you. Guide them on how to reestablish relationship with anyone they hurt while they were in meltdown mode.



Julia Freeman, Trauma Recovery Coach in training

I believe survivors of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence deserve to live in freedom and peace.