Narcissists Live in Denial of Reality to Survive
Their victims live in denial so they can love them
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Denial
Narcissists live in denial. They don’t want to know anything that doesn't support their story. They are like their victims. They can only survive in denial of reality.
The more you confront them with reality the angrier they become. It is a losing battle to try to set them straight.
Insanity
You may be trying to enlighten them because you care about them and want them to live a better life. Doesn’t matter. They will perceive your words as an attack on their character. Your kindness will be taken as an insult.
If they seem receptive to your words that is because they want to continue to keep you on their good side. Eventually, the narcissist will bring up your words during an argument to use against you. You will be surprised at the record they keep. When they present your words to you again you will try to help them understand what you meant but they will never believe you. Everything about you has already been judged according to how they will eventually rewrite history.
Lies
Another way they stay in denial is to tell you a different version of something you saw happen with your own eyes. They will convince you that your memory is faulty. Not only do they have to remain in denial but those who interact with them have to believe as they do. They do not like anyone to have their own opinion or view on life. If you don’t find their jokes funny it’s not because you have a different sense of humor but because there is something wrong with you.
My Experience
My children’s narcissistic father has gone so far as to tell our children that what happened was not true. There was a situation where something happened and he told them it didn't happen. He didn’t even ask them to believe a lie. He just told them that never happened. Can you imagine being a young child and having history rewritten right before your eyes? What does that do to their sense of self?
I corrected the situation by telling them they knew the truth and that I saw what had happened. I also told them they can think and believe for themselves. You have to keep up on the narc parent’s lies so your children can trust themselves.
Your Future
You don’t have to believe the narc’s lies. Begin trusting your gut again. Once you start living in truth you will begin to be free of the web of deceit that has been spun around you.
It can make you feel crazy to begin to believe the truth while you are told your thoughts are faulty. You will have to kick the narc out of your mind. Begin to judge where your thoughts are coming from and delete anything that was born of the narc.
The best way to recover your mind is to go no-contact with the narcissist but you can begin to grow stronger while still in contact if you build strong boundaries around your mind. Things will begin to change when you decide you should be treated with love and respect.
If you do go no-contact you will still have to delete the narc’s messages from your mind. The longer you have been mentally abused by the narc the longer recovery will take. It can be especially difficult at first as you begin to trust yourself again. Don’t give up and keep moving forward and one day you will look back to see incredible growth and change.
Blessings on your journey to freedom,
❤ Julia
