I Need a Vacation
I want to change my life. I want so many things to be different but I feel like I’m stuck in a mire with no ability to climb out.
I’m waiting for answers and legal agreements to be finalized.
It is hard to truly move forward when so much of the past and present feels so unfinished. I need closure on some things before I jump into new things.
I have the bad habit of having too many things going at one time. I need to simplify. I need to put my focus on the most important things and let the others go.
I need about 20 extra hours in my day, a nanny, a chef, a maid, and unlimited wealth to accomplish what I want to do. That is all an excuse and I know it. If I won’t take action now I never will.
I want to know what action to take. In reality, I do know what to do but I fight against it. I use all of the above as an excuse.
I do also need to know my limits and give myself time and space to heal and grow strong again.
I have to breathe and live in the peace and freedom I have brought into my life. I push it away by giving myself impossibly long to-do lists and keeping myself busy all the time. I need more rest, reading, sun, and fewer to-dos.
I long for the lazy days of summer I spent as a child. I want to just read and play and waste away the time. I wish I had appreciated those long boring days when I was a child.
I need a vacation.
That is all.