How to Survive When the Narcissist Punishes You With the New Supply

When you refuse to play his games you will be punished


Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

The Narcissist and the New Supply

The narcissist plays by his own rule book. He is entitled to lie, cheat, and steal and your job is to take it. In order to continue the privilege of a relationship with the narcissist, your job is to turn a blind eye to the madness. Once you see the truth the narcissist will send you on your way and then flaunt the person he has been cheating with in your face. Didn’t you know you deserve this punishment for refusing to go along with his storyline?

Beware when you see the truth of who the narcissist is.

Did the narcissist move someone in right after you left? If you co-parent has the abuser brought the new person to child exchanges? Are you freaking out because of the pain of seeing how quickly he moved on or because you found out he had been cheating before you even left?

This is one of the most painful tactics the narcissist uses to make us feel like we never mattered.

The sad reality is we were just a pawn in their game. We have to keep telling ourselves the new supply is now in pain as well. We have escaped the direct abuse and the new supply will now be taking it instead.

No matter how happy and perfect the new relationship seems you have to know it is just the same old play you were in with a new character to play the abused.

The New Supply as Tool of Punishment

To make the story more convincing the abuser will do some of the things he denied you with the new supply. That house he said he wouldn’t buy for you? He will buy an even better house with her. He will seem to become a more involved father and partner but you already know it’s all just an act.

He will pretend to be all of the things you asked him to be to make you feel worthless and like you never mattered to him.

Watch as he takes her on all the dates he used to take you on. He will do the same things he used to do with you and your children with the new supply. It is almost like he is trying to replace you in their memories.



Julia Freeman, Trauma Recovery Coach

I believe survivors of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence deserve to live in freedom and peace.