For Reals, Stay Single for Awhile

The importance of learning to love being single

Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

I think it’s especially important to remain single after being in an abusive relationship and going through a traumatic ending. You lose so much of yourself in an unhealthy relationship and you need some time to rebuild and recover.

We have to learn to be ourselves again. To be comfortable in our own skin. To stand on our own two feet without anyone else’s opinion or gaze to make us feel like we matter.

The struggle to recover after an abusive relationship is real. Some women struggle to be successful after becoming single mothers. If you jump into a new relationship you rob yourself of knowing you can learn the skills you need to be who your children need you to be. A new relationship distracts you from caring for your children well. They need more of you as they heal from what they have been through.

One of the most awesome reasons to remain single is to have fun and rediscover what you love and want to do with your life. Have fun trying new things and learning what you want to be when you grow up. After all, you have been through it is time to focus on what you like and what makes you happy. You might end up moving or starting a new career. So much potential for change.

Keep going. You have done an amazing thing by escaping a horrible relationship and you can keep rolling with that life-changing energy. Enjoy the ride as your life changes before your eyes. It’s difficult to have things change so much so quickly but it also brings this fantastic growth to your life. You are changing and never know what is coming around the next corner. Try to harness that energy for positive change.

I’m not sure how long it takes before you have done enough healing to move into a new relationship. I think it depends on how long your last relationship was and how much damage it did to you.

My next question to answer is when you have done enough healing to be in a new relationship. Don’t hold your breath for that answer because I don’t think I’m anywhere near an answer.

What do you think about being and remaining single? Love it or hate it?

❤ Julia



Julia Freeman, Trauma Recovery Coach in training

I believe survivors of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence deserve to live in freedom and peace.