Don’t Give Up When the Loneliness After an Abusive Relationship with a Narcissist Hits

You can make it to the other side

Photo by Atharva Tulsi on Unsplash

Why is loneliness so much worse after an abusive relationship with a narcissist?

The narcissist has used everything in his bag of tricks to pull you into his world and mold you into the person he wants you to be. When you finally leave you are left wondering what just happened and how to go on with your life.

How do they do this? How do they get you to a place where your every thought is about them and what would make them happy? You no longer know who you are and what you want with your life.

After you leave you are hit with loneliness and despair. Your life feels like it is no longer worth living. You want to give up or go back.

You have been through hell and now all the residual effects of the relationship are working against you to keep you captive. Your body and mind are screaming out for the hormones involved in the cycle of abuse. You are like an addict looking for the next hit. You didn’t realize you would have to go “cold-turkey” from this person. You thought your life would be all roses and sunshine after getting away. You didn’t know how much work was ahead of you in this journey to healing

You will have to fight to stay free.

Embrace your loneliness. When we fight loneliness it feels stronger. When we embrace it as a part of our healing we can become grateful for our growth and change. Learning to enjoy being alone is a skill that keeps you from ever being sucked into another abusive relationship.

Get out into nature. Even if you just look out your window at the vast sky above you it can help. When you realize you are an integral part of our earth it can help your mind to relax. Every plant and creature has its place here and so do you.

Tell those lonely thoughts the truth about your situation. You have family and friends who love you. You love yourself enough to leave someone who would hurt you. You are worth so much more than the abuser’s words. Think of all the people who will be part of your life now that you are free to have friends and family again.



Julia Freeman, Trauma Recovery Coach in training

I believe survivors of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence deserve to live in freedom and peace.