Domestic Violence Victims Hold All The Power

The bully is at your mercy

Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

I have realized something now that I’m 2 years out from my abusive marriage. I hold more power than the abuser does. I can walk away and not be a part of his drama.

I know not all situations are like mine and some abusers are much more dangerous than the man who tries to make my life hell. I think they are all big bullies who need mental help.

I realized that if I don’t participate he as the other half of the situation will be the only one yelling and will look like a complete fool.

When you leave someone who is used to controlling you they lose a major part of their life. You flew the gilded cage and now they are left without the beautiful bird and song they loved to keep as a trophy. They have to scramble to replace you. How pathetic. Anyone who is honest can see exactly what they are doing.

You win by leaving and healing and becoming someone they never dreamed of. Their loss, all your gain.

They are empty shells that need to control or hurt someone else to feel powerful or like they matter. They are unable to learn from their mistakes and are stuck in the sad prison that is their life. They can’t escape.

You can choose the freedom and healing they cannot. You had control over your own life even when they were controlling you. They have nothing but an illusion of control. Your mind is your own and once you get out you have your heart, soul, and body back as your own.

You don’t realize how much inner strength you have until you leave and have to draw upon it. Every day, week, month of survival shows you what has been hidden from you for so long.

All of the things I imagined I couldn’t survive have been stepping stones to true freedom and growth. I had to go through each terrible situation to gain the strength I needed to be who I am today.

Abusers choose carefully who they will control. They want a challenge. You have always had this strength and beauty your abuser could never touch within you. The first day of the relationship started off with you winning and him losing. You just didn’t know until the end.

Once it is clearly time to leave you will reach down deep to that inner well of strength and be free.

Blessings on your journey!