Are You Stuck After Leaving the Narcissist?

Is it time to move on?

Photo by Madeleine Wilson on Unsplash

Your New Reality

You’ve already gone through so much by leaving an abusive relationship. Your whole life has changed.

When you first left everything was chaotic. It took months, years even to get to the place of calm and peace you now live in. But, you begin to wonder if you should be doing more. If you should make some changes.

How do you know when it is time to move on from the safe place you have made for yourself? And what do you need to change?


I recently had a revelation about where I am in my healing journey.

I was in a deep, dark pit and climbed up to a ledge which, I thought was the real world. Turns out it was just a pleasant landing space with grass, flowers, and stunted trees.

I finally got enough rest to look up and realize I am still on my way out of the pit.

I think sometimes we need to reach a pleasant landing place to recover and rebuild before we get back to work climbing out of our dark place.

The important thing is to not be fooled by pleasant scenery so that we stay there forever. Also, don’t begrudge the time you took to heal and catch your breath. You needed to gain strength for the rest of the climb which may be harder than how far you’ve come already.

Back to Reality

Why is it more difficult to go the rest of the distance?

Because you know you can live comfortably where you are. You know you have enough and are content. But when you look and see all you are missing out on not getting you realize you want more. You have to want what is above you enough to do the work to get there.

You have to become aware of what you are missing out on. What you are giving up by not moving forward.

I want to climb the rest of the way up so I can live in the real world. I want to reclaim all I lost to my past. I want to go for my dreams.

I will probably end up on another ledge or two as I journey up and that is okay. I trust the process. I trust myself to know when I am ready for the next step.



Julia Freeman, Trauma Recovery Coach

I believe survivors of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence deserve to live in freedom and peace.